you should know by now, youre still in the garden!

if you're in this section of the garden it's probably because you said you don't like my garden.
did you really mean it?
i think my garden is a lot of fun!

or maybe you'd rather be alone?
why? so you can sit in the dark on your computer all day?

well i know lots of things about the computer too. i know all about how to decorate the screen. i can make it all pink and sparkly. see?

i don't remember a lot or remember things for certain, but i know this memory to be true. when i was a kid i had a dream i was rotting in hell. i think i was in a garden. the moles and spots on my arm grew bigger bigger until i rotted away and disappeared. ive had an aversion to holes since then. i didnt/dont want to rot away.

• my first tattoo ever was not done very well.
• i did it myself with an embroidery needle. its just the letter f. f for f in the chat, no kidding. it didnt hurt. or at least i didnt feel the pain. its really blown out.
• my second is just the words no exit on the top of my left thigh. like the play. you know, the sartre one where he says hell is other people.
• i gave it to myself in that same dorm room. different needle: i keep it clean. sometimes. i was still 16 and anxious. i still thought staying up until 2 was really late. i liked no exit by sartre.
• i must have 16 or so now. ive lost count.
• i often tell people this as a fun fact. is it fun?